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Eat Me!

by Mary -BrytEyz- Ball (Age: 47)
copyright 08-28-2001


Age Rating: 10 +

Serve flesh ribbons from deep within my chest
Feast on meat strands, if that's what you deem best
'Guess I'm no more than a caged animal
A beast of a meal for you, the cannibal

Tears ripple torment and ebb agony
I suffocate in airs of ebony
While ivory shrapnel scatters and slivers
Echoing memories you'll never deliver

Pull another heart string far as you can
Rip it out with your clenched and trembling hands
The love I gave, you didn't't seduce or steal
Here I lay, dear, just another meal

So let your teeth tear my heart to shreds
And when you smile, I'll see just where I've bled






Visitor Reads: 1779
Total Reads: 1993
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        04-29-2006     Walter Jones        

If you want to reach a mental picture you need to feel the rage not in portrait but in comparison, the rage is the meat you as a sexual flavor of the day, not a participant but a victim, wiling to give to be accepted, need to reach climax in a less violent way. Still and emotion write

        04-29-2006     Mary -BrytEyz- Ball        

And Anthony... what can I do to make it more than a three star rating poem? I highly value your opinion!

        04-29-2006     Mary -BrytEyz- Ball        

Leigh, nope. I meant bled... as in past tense. But thanks for the suggestion. Any others? I'm all ears!

        04-28-2006     David Pekrul        

I can't even imagine what in your life caused you to write a poem like this, but it must have been bad. The emotion is raw and brutal; the imagery frightening.
I'm pretty sure you're a happy person now; I sure hope so.
All the best,
David

        04-27-2006     Leigh Gilholm Fisher        

I was wondering about this one from the title... I wasn't sure what to except, but I certainly didn't except this! This was a good piece, and we all feel like this sometimes. Heartbreak and pain are emotions we all go through time after time. This was a good piece, and the overall idea for the main metaphors was a creative one. Sorry for such a short comment, but I'm supposed to be doing a report now...how's that for concentration? Good work, keep writing! Oh, and in the last line, do you mean bleed?

Leigh of the Commenting Crusaders

        02-26-2005     Anthony Lane Stahlhut        

Does cheese come on that? This is a very funny piece to read. I bet it wasn't a great feeling then. You live and learn, but I seem also to have to learn some things over and over again! Good write, Anthony

        10-29-2004     Rissa Tahre        

wow, thats a very powerful poem. Almost disturbing, =O Good write

        02-09-2002     Mary -BrytEyz- Ball        

I came back to re-read this peice. Ya know what? I'm a sucker! I fall for the same shit, just on a different day. Well, with eye lids wide open (propped open with tooth pics if need be) I'll forge on and forward. I'll keep my eyes peeled for the same stench and try to avoid it before stepping in the dang pile of it. Ugh! (All figurative here folks).

And yes, this pain was real when I wrote it... and for some odd reason, refreshes itself each time I read this to see if I can or should try to improve on it.

I never seem to think of anything to add to or take from it, but it sure has a way of affecting me when I come back to read it.

Tho I'm glad it touches you all, I sincerely hope it doesn't affect you the way it does me. It's like opening the wound anew.

Take care all,
Mary

        09-07-2001     Lyle Berry        

Wow Mary! I hope no one truly hurt you like this and that it is mostly from imagination. If they did, my heart goes out to you. In any case, it is a very powerful poem with at least the force of a level 5 tornado. Great write here!

        08-30-2001     Beverley McInnis        

Mary, that is an incrediably powerful, symbolic poem and has become my favourite of yours! Well done!

        08-29-2001     Mary -BrytEyz- Ball        

I'm not bitter, am I? *Sweet smile* Thanks all for reading!!!

        08-29-2001     Nan Jacobs        

Very very emotional and elicits deep reactions. Good one, Mary



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