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Once a Life

by Jane Lee (Age: 24)
copyright 07-01-2005


Age Rating: 10 +

Even though I'm living,
Am I really here?
Looking up at the pure and blue sky,
It makes me feel like I'm locked up.

Even if I'm laughing,
Am I really laughing?
Getting tired,
I start to dream.
It looks like I'm crying.

Even though I love you,
I can't say the words.
The moment I fell asleep,
I wanted you.

Once a life,
Once a life,
When it's hard,
We're surrounded by darkness.

Once you cry,
Once you cry,
When you get tired of crying.
In my dreams when I look at you,
Would I remember your face?
Once a life.

Even if I'm smiling,
Am I really doing it?
Getting tired,
I start to dream,
It looks like I'm crying.

Even though I love you,
I can't say the words.
The moment I fell asleep,
I wanted you.

This must be the last time,
We laugh together.
This must be the last time,
We love each other.

Be beside me,
Be beside me,
Because tears come out.

Once a life,
Once a life,
When it's hard,
We're surrounded by darkness.

Once you cry,
Once you cry,
When you get tired of crying.
In my dreams when I look at you,
would I remember your face?

Even if you try to burn it,
There is too much.

Even if you burn it all,
I will still miss you.

Once a life...

Once a life...






Visitor Reads: 1295
Total Reads: 1323
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        04-30-2007     Leigh Gilholm Fisher        

At first, I was complete captivated and wondered why it was only four stars and not five but by the end you got a little carried away with the repeating of lines, which usually doesn't bother me but like I said, you did a little too much of it. Other than that, this was a great poem. The questioning of emotion thought the poem is something I'm pretty sure everybody can relate to on some level, and because of that element in the poem made me appreciate it because I always find me questioning myself, and sometimes scold myself because I'm trying to trust somebody again... I'd say we all realize we're crying about something but hiding our pain without realizing it, too. Eh, sorry I got randomizing. My other pick is capitalization, but you're familiar with that rant. :) Good work, Jane keep it coming!


Leigh of the Commenting Community

        10-14-2005     Jane Lee        

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOE!!:D:D itz sooo good:P muwahaha guess what itz not jane (again) itz jane's friend, janez sittin right next 2 me:D:D:P
i no itz random but im board!!:D:D:D:P


        07-03-2005     chibimars        

How people seem to think we feel might not always be the same as what we feel on the inside...Excellent work.

"Sometimes reality really stinks..."
---Lita, "Sailor Moon" English episode "Too Many Girlfriends"

Jenna T.

        07-03-2005     SamiJo Mcquiston        

That really makes you think.
What is really real? Or does reality even really exist? It's really bothersome.
Keep up the good work.
SamiJo

        07-02-2005     Roger Crique        

Jane, this poem is beautifully done and believe it or not, it is a mirror into your soul. Your words are beautiful and you ask the right questions, what is reality? But let me give you a little advice, if this is a poem as opposed to a song, and I think it is a poem, then take out all the words and stanzas that are repeated. This will keep your poem short and will give it more life. It's like when you tell a joke, once you repeat it, it loses its punch line! Take care and continue to write such beautiful work.

Roger



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