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Love Lost

by Elysia Foster (Age: 30)
copyright 05-29-2007

Age Rating: 13 +

A warrior, nobler than them all
Many a fighter has he seen fall.
No lord or lady does he serve,
But much respect does he deserve.
Born in Kyoto in 1653,
War and hard times surrounded He.
His samurai spirit, loyal and strong,
But he didn't strive to right all wrongs.
Hogosha was the name he gave
And he was known as one so grave
And solemn as if made of stone.
As he traveled he stayed alone,
For now he searched for something lost
That he must find at any cost.
A love had he so dear to him
That he would risk both life and limb
If into danger she should fall
To defend her, He would give his all.
But taken now from him was she,
And for her whereabouts now searched he.
At tweny years, though battle scarred,
He still looked young, though rather hard.
His face was soft, but for one spot.
A wound remained from when he fought
Across his eye now blind and dim,
A scar ran down near to his chin.
His raven hair fell to mid back
But a smile his face did lack.
As he traveled from town to town,
On his face he wore a frown.
His eye was cold as if made of ice,
His gaze pierced through you like a knife.
His voice was deep, but soft as well.
Like music playing, it rose and fell.
His clothes were dark, of black and red,
The sword at his side showed the life he led.
For that was his one true friend.
At every battle it would lend
Its help to him so he could keep
Alive, once again to seek
That for which he longed to most,
What seemed to him now but a ghost,
His love so beautiful and fair
For her alone did he care.
A quiet man who didn't talk,
And often caused the strange to gawk
As he would walk on through the streets
Ignoring every soul he meets,
But listening deep with open ears
To every sound that he would hear,
For any clue or helpful hint
To tell him where his love was sent.
For till she's found he will not rest
He'll keep on giving it his best
For love of her he'd give his life
To save her heart from any strife.
But till he finds her warm embrace
No peril is too much to face
He won't give up, for no dear cost
Compares to that of true love lost.

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        08-25-2007     Leigh Gilholm Fisher        

Hmm. Half sounds like it's about Hogosha! I am spelling his name correctly, right? Anyway, before I continue in that department of the poem I must comment on your format...

When I first started writing, I wrote like this with no paragraph spaces. And if somebody told me to add spaces between paragraphs my reaction was not to reply to them and scowl thinking, "I'll do it my way!" XD Anyway, it's a bit run-on in its current state so in the future I recommend paragraph spaces. (do that nowadays, by the way...>.<)

Anyway, the poem itself is very nice! Flow is disturbed a bit due to the reasons I mentioned above, but your choice of words made it easy to picture the events and scenario of the poem. Good work! Keep 'em coming!

Leigh of the Commenting Community

        07-25-2007     Richard Reed Jr        

A very entertaining poem, especially for one like me who was in japan and has studied their history and culture. A powerful picture of a noble personality. Good rhyme and rhythm.

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