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When You Said I Love You

by Cassie Sweeney (Age: 24)
copyright 09-24-2008


Age Rating: 13 +

What if every time you said "Don't leave"

You meant, "hold on forever"

What if when you claimed you wouldn't hurt me,

You meant never.


What if when you always said "You're my everything"

You meant, "I'd die without you"

What if when you asked for a family

You meant, "We'll make it through"



What if when you said "I'm not like him"

You meant "I love you"

What about when you said "I miss you"

And I said it too?



What if every time you said "I love you"

you meant it?

Then would we still end up

Just like you promised?

Because now I'm all alone

With just the words left in my head.






Visitor Reads: 900
Total Reads: 958
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        05-16-2013     phoenix        

wonderful poem i wish that when people said the things that you wrote in the poem they meant them i think it flowed rather nicely together and was well written keep on writing

ES

        04-20-2010     Emily Valle        

I really appreciated this one.
Evey line had so much meaning behind it and I could feel, and understand each question so well.
Wouldn't it be nice if everyone said what they really meant? It did what they claimed they would do?

        09-19-2009     Mehrina Asif        

'Because now I'm all alone, with just the words left in my head'

I'm a real sucker for heartbroken endings, and this line was an unusually sharp jab at my admittedly sensitive heart. >.<
Very well written, Cassie! The only advice I can scrounge up is to consistently format the quotes, but other than that, I really liked this; it really drives that sense of regret mixed with doubt into my head.
Thanks for entering my contest!

        04-05-2009     Angela Toshner        

I really like this poem. It truly makes me think about the people in my life that have said those things to me and then walked away without even a thought about what it was doing to me.
Great write, thanks for sharing
Angela

        03-12-2009     Debra Rose        

I think this is a good work, but could do with one more line at the end to maybe wrap it up. It felt like there that it stopped in the middle of a flow or ended rather suddenly (if you're going by rhythm) which could actually be a benefit, if that's what you're aiming for (the rhythm ending with the same suddenness of a relationship skidding to a halt.)

I really liked this. You have an incredibly good grasp on flow, and this brought back a lot of remembered feelings from my own first experiences with relationships and love, the way I sometimes feel thinking about the first girl I ever loved, or sometimes that ache I get when I talk to her or the very few others who have ever graced my life in such a way. It's a very sad and wistful piece. I like this a lot.

        03-11-2009     Sarah Barrett        

I really like the flow of this poem, it's very nice. Love is quite difficult, especially young love. I enjoyed this. Keep up the good work :)
Sarah B.

        03-03-2009     Raja Sharma        

Because now I'm all alone

With just the words left in my head.
The poem flows so beautifully and meaningfully that one can't even realize that it is going to touch the soul through the concluding lines. You have really worked hard with the syntax and form of your poem. A hightly admirable work!
God bless you
Rajasir

        02-28-2009     Anthony Lane Stahlhut        

Time has taught me many things and one of them is that all love is not forever. I wish it was for the most part, but know that if it was I wouldn't have what I have now. When my first marriage ended, I was heart broken and thought the world would end for me. I found love again and I believe it is a much better love this time. We don't know the whole story, but i believe God has a plan for us. Sometimes we have to experience great loss to find great love. I hope you are better now and that you find a better love as I did. Good luck, Anthony

        02-26-2009     Kimberly Angelone        

Sounds like you wrote this with me in mind. I just went through this myself. Oh God it hurts, I know. But go further with this- really feel it and dig deep. I get what you are feeling but you can go even deeper.

        02-20-2009     Lauren Turner        

The commas would add some slowed down tones to it. I think it would help the flow, but thats all up to you, the writer.
I really like it, its lonely sounding.
The ending is great too. <3

        02-15-2009     D.j. Feutz        

wow i really like this it got to me due to my past relations in life i am sure u hear this a lot but time heals all wounds and all will come in due time im sure someone will read this and say "hey i could mean it when i say it" and ya never know dont give up

        02-09-2009     synclaire232        

I don't know, either. I've been hearing those words lately and I've not been sure if they meant it or not. I'd write more, but I need to go to lunch.



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