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In all honesty, I think this should be developed more. The seed or kernel of the idea is here, but left as is, tends to border on being a cliche. Sometimes, if not all times, it's difficult I know, to carry a piece beyond what's in the mind's eye. My thinking is that very short pieces must be treated with extra special care to make as sure as possible that the reader will experience the writer's own vision. Hopefully.
But, this is a somewhat murky area with no definite guidelines except one: content. How short is too short, how long is too long? No answers for those, thankfully. But content can always be looked at and found to be lacking, or adequate, or exceptional. Unfortunately, perhaps, sometimes the best indicator of all that is the reader.
We are, after all, but humble servant-smiths offering our wares to all who might pass by, wanting a sampling of our goods.
Mae Futter Stein
Broken is a word that can be mended, most often, but not always. It is a very deep subject.
These are direct words to think upon, but I like the poetry in more words, myself, but I like all types. The words are true and comes across well, and your words always do just that. Hugs,