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La Tentatrice

by Mehrina Asif (Age: 23)
copyright 03-09-2010


Age Rating: 13 +

La Tentatrice
Tes yeux me dirent ton rêve
Un rêve d’amour et un rêve de guerre
Et je pleurai pendant que tu buvais le vin de mes larmes
Je voudrais danser avec toi sur la musique de la vie
Et si tu ferme tes yeux
Je pourrais arrêter les étoiles et te donner le cadeau de l’obscurité
Je touche ton cœur bleu pendant que nous regardons la mort du soleil
Tu péchas quand tu crias
Donc, tu dois écouter quand tes amants se noient dans tes mensonges
Je serai la dernière mort
Et quand je partirai
Tu pleureras pour toujours


The Temptress
Your eyes told me your dream
A dream of love and a dream of war
And I wept while you were drinking the wine of my tears
I would like to dance with you to the music of life
And if you close your eyes
I can stop the stars and give you the gift of darkness
I touch your blue heart while we watch the death of the sun
You sinned when you screamed
And so, you must listen when your lovers drown in your lies
I will be the last death
And when I will leave
You will cry forever






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Total Reads: 1164
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        02-01-2013     Wayne Thomas        

Goodlawdawmighty such a great read! I've watched you grow as a writer and you're getting better all the time. I don't know a syllable of French but in the language I do know: Das ist sehr gut! Vielen dank! Wayne

        09-22-2011     Mylinda Rives        

I read the english poem first, but the french version of The Temptress is very good.
Your knowledge of French is a another challenge in writing poetry. Keep up the good work.

        05-23-2010     Frank Fields        

This work is filled with so many things! And every one of those images pull at my soul and heart to let me know that Love is a force that will be reckoned with. But it has so much more, of course. Drama, intrigue, conflict, and all the things we can use as writers to raise a work beyond mediocre to a platform of excellence.

I will come back, now and then, to read this again.

Frank :)

        04-20-2010     Leigh Gilholm Fisher        

Thanks for entering the contest, Meh! :D I'm glad to see you saw it. XD I can see why you chose to enter a newer pieces, since you've improved a great deal over the last few years. Again, fantastic work! :D

~Big sis of the Commenting Community

        04-08-2010     Susan Brown        

Mehrina,
This would be beautiful in any language. This made me feel like I had a front row seat in a spectacular foreign far away theater, intently watching the last scene play out, on a darkly lit stage. Excellent! Drama at its fullest.
Susan

        03-26-2010     Leigh Gilholm Fisher        

Ah, the beauty of the French language! Even the translation sounds darn good, too! Let's hope it grabs the idea of potential commissioners on DA, eh? XD

Anyhow, I really love the sound of this one. It's short but very well written and beautiful. It tells a story in so few words, and the vocabulary is great as well. It'd be amazing to be heard read aloud in French. :D Great work, lil sis!


~Leigh
Big sis



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