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Judge and Jury

by phantomwrays (Age: 26)
copyright 07-23-2013

Age Rating: 18 +

I have failed once again.

My sins have been revealed.

I have fallen so far in this time,

I  fear I cannot be healed.


I used to blame others for my misery,

But this time I broke my own heart.

I am left vulnerable and exposed,

And virtually torn apart.


There is no recognition when I look in the mirror.

I have become just another stranger.

Nothing is left of the me from before,

All that is left is tears, sadness, and anger.


I am left twisted and broken,

With no end in sight.

Hope feels like a hopeless cause,

So I condemn myself to this dayless night.


I do not deserve to be happy again,

I feel such guilt when I smile.

This misery is my pennance,

And I am holding my own trial.

Visitor Reads: 371
Total Reads: 409

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        05-20-2015     Cynthia Baello        

This is so sad and gripping, it held me spellbound. You wrote it so eloquently and I felt each pang of pain, the sinking feeling that goes with defeat and loss. The best thing about failures is they are really lessons for us, from which we can rise again and try another leap. Thanks for writing this.

        12-29-2013     Shelby Slivkoff        

I like this alot. I know what you mean, I condemn myself alot to whenever I mess up, I punish myself without letting anyone else in, cause its my proble and my mistake. But don't feel hopeless, sometimes things get better and it can be easy to fix at times. Sometimes its opportunity to learn from mistakes. This was great, and it flows nicely. Pick yourself back up, and don't ever stop writing.

        10-08-2013     Regina Lehman        

Very nice poem..I feel such guilt when I smile.
This misery is my pennance,
And I am holding my own trial.Jesus forgives everyone no matter what they have done he is a loving an forgiving God.As long as we are truly sorry for our sins. He loves every sinner upon the earth.

        08-02-2013     Mary -BrytEyz- Ball        

I've felt like this SO many times in the past. The best part about being "old" is that I now realize the feelings of despair won't last forever, and sometimes not even long... tho it may seem that way at the moment. Now, when I feel like this, I have the hope and faith and DETERMINATION that it will NOT continue forever.

You have so much strength and determination, my beautiful one, ... I know you will feel better soon. In the mean time, it's good that you've written your feelings down. It's easier to analyze them and sort them out when you can "see" them. Writing is the best form of "therapy" sometimes, eh? :-)

You are loved by many! Hugs. BrytEyz

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