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Cabo

by Susan Brown (Age: 58)
copyright 01-13-2014


Age Rating: 18 +

Horizon stoops low
Sandy lullaby, shells pail
Sultry sea breezy







Visitor Reads: 437
Total Reads: 479
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        03-09-2014     Mae Futter Stein        

For Susan;

Winds subside with rain
Oyster beds make their showing
High tide coming in

        03-09-2014     Frank Fields        

*smile* Pen is most pleased with your edits. Thank you, very much. It wasn't mentioned before because we (Pen and I) hadn't seen this piece until it came scrolling past on the Recent Works listing. Yes, the solar winds and the madcap chop are definitely having a good time. ^^

Frank :)

        03-09-2014     Susan Brown        

Pen,
Yes! Why did you wait so long to mention it? My caesura was a horizon line here. Yes, I was penciling in the exact spot sky greets water. I can hear them talking, can't you? lol

Susan


        03-08-2014     Frank Fields        

Pen says:
Please delete that underscore linking "stoops and low." Unless it serves some good purpose. Also look at "lulaby" and perhaps change it to: lullaby. Pen is asking these things so you may enter it in my current contest: "Haiku, please!"

Frank says:
An excellent Haiku, Susan. No more need be said.

Pen is a fuss budget, never having heard of a cut or caesura.

Frank :)

        02-27-2014     Susan Brown        

"Parody poem" for Mae. Thanks for the kind words and word play, girlfriend.

Susan

        01-28-2014     Rachel Brown        

Susan ,
This gives me memories of Florida's beaches its such a relaxing image e that it pulls me out of the dead of winter and gives images of sunny florida.
Thanks for sharing this gift of a poem .
Well doen.

        01-22-2014     Mae Futter Stein        

As the day sinks into sands of night
Music drowns out as two clam shells fight
Fleas fill the sand; they all take a stand
the sea roars out; beseech on command

        01-18-2014     Susan Brown        

Hey Mae,
I think this version should read "friends" instead of fleas. Then it would stand/sit/recline shiny and polished. Maybe you and I should word battle each other. Okay, your it. Go.
Susan

        01-17-2014     Mae Futter Stein        

As the horizon sinks into the sand of night
A lullaby is heard as the breeze blows light
Sultry sea roars through the isolated trees
Me with my pail of shells and sandy old fleas

LOL! Love your haiku, Susan. Well done!

Hugs....!!


        01-15-2014     Alan Reed        

Hi Susan,

Soft, hugging the surface. Very nicely penned Susan. Appealing to the senses in light fashion with colors demurely pretty. Pleasant and demurely inquisitive. Really a fine Haiku. - Alan

        01-14-2014     Rachel Brown        

A pretty Haiku worthy of
such a haiku . I really enjoyed the work
of art and I can see the beach as I read this
Haiku.
Can't wait to read more real soon.
Keep up the great work Susan.



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