Dreaming of a Black Hole by Chessie Hodge

By Chessie Hodge (Age: 18)
Copyright 05-25-2008

Tears came down. I curled into the corner. Drunk on shadows, I day-dreamed nightmares. Rain poured outside with the early morning hours. I couldn’t move. I let the uncontrollable wave of pain consume me without struggle. It was unending and merciless. Thunder echoed softly outside… I think… Maybe… It didn’t matter… I reached out, scrambling in the dark for something to make the pain disappear. I never found it… just the ring on a chain. I whispered incoherences to the damp air of the rainy night. How pathetic and miserable. I found myself retching suddenly into the trash bin… I shook… I crawled back into my covers, into the comfortless, light-less world I had created. I passed out………… Dreams of a funeral….. Rowan trees…. Black marble…….. Gothic cathedral… Forest… Holy water………………… You…… holding ……… saying ……… Sudden wakefulness…. An alarm clock ran on a cellular phone. I slammed it, sinking back into bed. God… What had happened? I was dizzy and sick… I didn’t know… I forced myself out of bed. Shower… Hot… Burning my flesh…. but somehow it felt good. The dim light hurt my eyes. I turned the knob and the water stopped. I picked up the towel and tried not to look at the marks. I dressed…. I cried…. “Get through the day……. Your angel has gone….”

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